No Title Tonight.

Normally I title my blog entry before I begin typing it. There is so much going on right now I'm not sure what to call this one. New HS bumpies, new stress, waiting and wondering...the list goes on and on. Music isn't helping this time. Usually music is a very therapeutic thing for me. This time, not so much. I keep going back to Fist City although this is a different situation. I feel like beating the snot out of someone. But I'm a lover, not a fighter. =) Then I think about Every Rose Has It's Thorn If you click this link, you should understand why it is I chose this version. I'm listening to it now and in tears.

So Reagan is being tested for T1D (Type 1 Diabetes; AKA Juvenile onset diabetes) I am certainly beside myself. Ryan doesn't get it, but I'm preparing for the worst while hoping for the best. He thinks I'm being morbid and have convinced myself that he has it. Not true, I'm just getting ready for it. Just in case. Will it be the end of the world? No. Are there millions of kids who have T1D and lead happy normal lives? Yes. Are any of them MY baby? No.

So, yeah....stress level has been a bit over the limit recently. My emotions are running everywhere. I'm not sleeping well. I am in pain. I have new bumpies. I'm in a FML moment. I have to throw this in there really quick. Since I post a link to this blog on facebook and I have many new facebook friends who have most likely never read my blog or heard of HS (Hidradenitis Suppurativa) please note...I am not looking for pity. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. If you want to talk to me about anything you read here, please feel free to ask / say what you want by leaving a comment here, facebook comment or message, or even in person. But please, DO NOT PITTY ME OR FEEL SORRY FOR ME OR TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY BASED ON WHAT YOU ARE / ARE ABOUT TO READ!
Now that that's covered.... So the HS has reared it's ugly head again. In places we don't speak of. This time there are multiple bumpies in this area, 1 on one side, 2 on the other side, and 1 on the back side. They are causing some serious pain. Again it hurts to walk, stand, sit, lay down...live... The Epsom salt baths seem to be offering minimal and temporary relief, which is so much better than nothing at all. I just wish it would do more. School should be interesting with this. Ugh! I'm trying Tea Tree oil applied directly, undiluted. One of them is a bit more sensitive than the others. It's not open or draining at this point but it BURNS!  I guess I should look at that as a good sign. Maybe it's getting ready to start draining. I hope it is.

Well, that's all I have tonight. Except that whole quit smoking thing I was doing so well at....well that's over. For now. I plan to try again. When things settle down a bit I will try again.